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Cheating husband

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Summer, Jan 8, 2017.

  1. Summer

    Summer Member

    Yesterday was supposed to be the birthday celebration of my childhood friend. We were prepping and all to go to their place when my best friend called me and said our friend cancelled it. I asked why, she said that she read a text message from a girl on her husband's phone. She did not detailed the content of the text message and apparently, when we talked to her this afternoon, she told us what happened.

    This "girl" who texted her husband is a girl from a bar that he met when he and his coworkers were drinking after work. She said that she noticed that it has been frequent that his husband comes home late from work. It happened a couple of times that the husband was doing that. To make the story short, my friend had this intuition that something was up with the girl and his husband, and she was right. The husband admitted something happened to him and the "girl" but it was just one time and he was already avoiding the girl. My friend doesn't believe him and she was crying and all and wants to know the truth and she actually wants to see the girl and talk to her.

    Do you think this is a good idea? I mean, I feel sorry for my friend for what happened and I will also be hurt if it happened to me. But I am not sure if I want to see the girl who had a one night stand with my husband. I will faint. What are your thoughts?
     
  2. Rrrobert

    Rrrobert Member

    at this point, she needs a friend more than ever. decisions that she'll make at this stage can't be all rational. If I was her, I'd collect myself first, emotionally and mentally prepare myself, then MAYBE consider seeing the mistress.
     
  3. I think it would be best to get fresh air first so she can think the next thing she wants to do. She is emotionally hurt at this time and whatever she is thinking right now might be a wrong move because she is still at her peak in anger. Better talk to your oter childhood friends and maybe gather ideas on what is best to do.

    If I were your friend, I would also like to see the mistress. Why? I want to know what really happened. It could be the husband is lying or telling the truth but the only way to find that out is to meet her with the husband. I always say this to my friends, there's always three sides of the story, her story, his story and the truth.

    Keep us updated on this, please.
     
  4. MrHandy

    MrHandy Member

    I can't speak for all the men out there, or represent them in any means. But in my experience, when we go out drinking with the boys, girls do try to get at leats one in our group. It's always been that way. And sometimes it can be tempting, but the moment boys start doing intimate acts, even just for fun, is where the trouble starts, and it doesn't end there. Sex is something that is a big deal, even one night stands.

    From my point of view too, seeing the mistress can cause even more trouble for both of you (wife and mistress). You should be talking to your husband and resolving your issues, not with the girl.
     
  5. HappyMum

    HappyMum Active Member

    I agree with @MrHandy, sometimes we women and wives feel that we must talk with the third party or mistress about the problem, but age and experience has taught me that these problems are best resolved within the two of you husband and wife first.
     
  6. Summer

    Summer Member

    That's what I told her. Better talk to her husband and don't mind the girl. She said the girl had been calling her husband and texting. We told her to block the number. She was so devastated because this is the 2nd time the husband did this to her. :(
     
  7. Amber Lee

    Amber Lee Member

    Second time? Something is really wrong with the guy. I get sad every time I hear or read stories like this. It breaks my heart when a marriage is almost going to an end because of third parties, it's just not fair. :(
     
  8. Summer

    Summer Member

    I haven't heard from her since yesterday because she might be busy with work, she works in a bank. I am also worried about her because they had one child and I am pretty sure the kid is seeing them arguing.
     
  9. Honeylette

    Honeylette Active Member

    Oh my. Not that I'm implying but, you know the saying:

    Shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice.

    She's not thinking of "3rd time's the charm", is she? I hope not.
     
  10. iamevallain

    iamevallain Member

    LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP! I may be drastic, but if I ever smell just a hint of another woman's perfume on my man,
    ALL. HELL. WILL. BREAK. LOOSE.
     
  11. hold it @iamevallain! I think reason over drastic measures always trumped the latter one. if this happens to us, I'd want a decent explanation first - then proceed to leave him. I wouldn't know if I would be reconcilable, but one things for sure is that time apart is what we'd need... I just hope it won't happen to us! :(
     
  12. Summer

    Summer Member

    Update:

    The girl called my friend. Yes, my friend. She said she texted the girl to know more details about their relationship. She said the girl sounded like drunk when she called her. Then the rest is history. She was crying and she said she couldn't believe her husband did this to her.

    We are so worried because she drinks a lot and I am not sure if she's going to work. My best friend who is her cousin just relayed the message to me.
     
  13. Rrrobert

    Rrrobert Member

    That's a good argument there. But I don't think that at a situation where everything is in front of you, you can't really think as rational as this. emotions will surely overflow.
     
  14. Amber Lee

    Amber Lee Member

    I totally agree with this! Maybe it's time for her to get to her senses and rethink her future and her kid's future. It will be hard but if it's the second time then I am thinking she is stronger than before to get going.
     
  15. I agree that is why she should think about it a thousand times and really deal with the husband first to squeeze him to tell the truth so as to avoid meeting the girl.
     
  16. Leiah

    Leiah Active Member

    Can't help but agree. Not that I would be agressive or anything, but caught for the second time is a bad thing. CHEATING IS A HABIT. There may be times that he cheated and was not caught.
     
  17. Princess

    Princess Active Member

    Oh dear. I hope she's okay and she made a decision. Repeated cheating is something that should not be taken lightly.
     
  18. LizB

    LizB Member

    This is just my opinion but for me, I wouldn't give a rat's ass about the girl. I don't care if she danced in front of him naked, the decision to cheat is his and his alone. Both my husband and I believe that cheating is an unforgiveable grievance, and we hold each other to that. I don't know what will happen in the future, but I know he knows if he does anything like this, it's marriage over. My kid and I will be alright. It's unforgiveable because my husband's father is a serial cheater and he was personally hurt and suffered a lifetime of trauma because of his dad. If he cheats, then he knows exactly what it could bring to our family.
     
  19. I hope she feels better and I hope they are able to patch things up. The reason behind this is because, I must admit that it is hard to have a broken family and if they go separate ways with a child in the middle of the issue, the child will get all the burden.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2017
  20. Summer

    Summer Member

    She already messaged me today and said that she's doing okay and that she'll share the whole story when we get to meet one of these days. I just hope that whatever happened and whatever her decision will be, the child is still protected and is way out of the argument.
     

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