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Help me, please, to make the right decision....

Discussion in 'Fertility issues' started by Hotheart, Mar 7, 2017.

  1. Hotheart

    Hotheart New Member

    Hi, there! I feel myself trapped and in a great despair. My GP doesn’t let me get pregnant because of my diabetes. I can’t balance my glucose level. In addition, I have some problems with my kidneys. My GP says that they won’t function properly during my pregnancy and may be a great risk both for me and my baby. I’ve visited quite a lot of diabetes forums where ladies with diabetes share their successful stories. I would risk, but my DH is against it. He doesn’t want to risk my life. He says that we would better adopt or find a surrogate. We decided to start with the second variant. As we don’t have a close friend or relative who would agree to carry and give birth to our child, we decided to go overseas and find a respectable fertility clinic that would help us find a surrogate for our baby. We’ve got interested in two clinics. The first clinic seems to be very popular among European infertile couples. However, when we visited the clinic, there were some things we disliked about it. Firstly, it turned to be very overcrowded. There were queues nearly everywhere. As there weren’t vacant seats, we had to stand nearly an hour before the fertility specialist was ready to meet us. We quite liked the doctor in charge. She turned to be very attentive to every single detail. She asked us quite a lot of questions about both my husband’s and my health condition. These were the things we really liked. We visited one more clinic, but I completely disliked it. Firstly, it was very empty. There weren’t queues anywhere. The staff was very soothing and smiley, but I don’t know why I disliked them. Now we have to make the choice: whether to choose the first clinic or continue searching. What do you think about both these clinics? Should we deal with the first one???

    P.S. Is there anybody here who had to deal with surrogacy? Could you please share your stories? I really need your help.
     
  2. Justine

    Justine New Member

    Hi, hun! It’s a great pity that you have to experience all those problems with getting pregnant. I do have some friends who also suffer from this disease. One friend got pregnant and gave birth to a healthy boy with the help of a C-section. She had several miscarriages and was able to keep this pregnancy only due to a high professionalism of her gyny. I would advise you to trust your gut in this situation. I think you should pay much attention to the way they’re going to find a surrogate for you. I think it’s a key moment in choosing a clinic.
     
  3. Hotheart

    Hotheart New Member

    The clinic we’ve got interested in seems to be a reputable one. Before visiting this clinic for the first time, we browsed loads of fertility forums. We found some favorable feedbacks about it there. The clinic offers a good surrogacy package at a very reasonable price. In addition, we quite liked the RE we consulted there. However, the clinic was too overcrowded every time we visited them. We had to wait nearly 2 hours before we could see the specialist. This is the main thing we dislike about them.
     
  4. farmer's wife

    farmer's wife New Member

    Hi, dear! If I were in your shoes, I would check their success rates. For me, it’s the most important criteria in choosing the clinic. You must be totally sure that dealing with a particular clinic you aren’t wasting your time. I would also check the way they are selecting egg donors for their ED programs. These should be young and healthy women. It would be great if they check the donor’s heredity. Just take these things into consideration, hun!
     
  5. Hotheart

    Hotheart New Member

    The first clinic seems to be quite ok. When we visited the clinic for the first time, we spoke with our program coordinator about this. She told us that the clinic is a selective one. They use certain criteria to select egg donors for their clients. Firstly, they ask the women who are willing to donate their eggs do some health tests. They also check their family trees to see whether their parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles are free from hereditary diseases. The clinic deals with young egg donors (18-25-years-old women). To donate oocytes, a woman must be a mum of at least one child. This is how they are going to find an egg donor for us. What do you think about it?
     
  6. Justine

    Justine New Member

    All these things sound quite reasonable, hun! Of course, it’s better to deal with the fertility clinics that use oocytes of young ladies for their fertility programs as they are considered to be of the best quality. I’m just curious to know how they’re going to choose an egg donor for a certain egg donation program. Will they give you an opportunity to see the photos of the egg donor?

    P.S. Egg donation is mostly done on an anonymous basis. It means you won’t be able to see the photos of the woman who agrees to share her eggs with you. The doctor will be the one who chooses the egg donor for you.
     
  7. Hotheart

    Hotheart New Member

    I quite understand what you mean, Justine. However, the clinic we’ve got interested in will give us an opportunity to glimpse at the donor’s photo. We have to sign up a contract with them, and then we’ll be able to see the donor’s 3D photo. Actually, we have to visit the clinic twice. Before visiting them for the first time, we sent them a short description of the lady who would suit us as an egg donor. We specified such options as height, weight, eye and hair color. Our program coordinator told us that the clinic has a large database of egg donors. They use a special software to find a donor for a particular DE IVF.
     
  8. farmer's wife

    farmer's wife New Member

    It’s great that they would give you an opportunity to glimpse at the donor’s 3D photo. As far as I know, not all fertility clinics are ready to provide their clients with such option. However, will they charge any additional fees for this. I think you should find it out before dealing with them, hun. My close friend used to deal with a Spanish fertility clinic. She booked DE IVF there. The initial price was quite ok, but they started to ask her do various health tests. This made the final sum so huge that they had to take a credit.
     
  9. Hotheart

    Hotheart New Member

    I don’t think they would charge any additional fees, hun. We have to sign up a contract. According to this contract, the clinic will charge only a fixed sum. As we’re going to book several shots, this sum will be divided into several installments. We may make the payment either in cash or via a bank transfer. For us, it’s really very handy as our budget is very scarce. What do you think about it?
     
  10. Vine

    Vine New Member

    Hi, there. I’ve reread all the posts in this thread and I got a little bit confused. The OP in her first post has written about her diabetes and the fact that it doesn’t let her become pregnant. However, this thread seems to be more about DE IVF. So what is this thread actually about: diabetes or surrogacy?

    P.S. I’m really curious to get the answer as my DH and I are looking for a surro mum now. I really want to find someone to share my problem with.
     
  11. Hotheart

    Hotheart New Member

    The thing is I really suffer from diabetes. However, it’s a hereditary issue. We decided to use a donor egg as we don’t want our future child to inherit this disease. The clinic we’ve got interested in offers us surrogacy with a donor egg. I think this is the main reason why we started to discuss DE IVF here. Wine, are you going to deal with a clinic or a surrogacy agency? We’re going to deal with a fertility clinic…
     
  12. Vine

    Vine New Member

    Yes, we’re also going to deal with a fertility clinic. We’ve found a nice clinic in Ukraine. They seem to take a real care after a surrogate. According to a contract we’re to sign up, the clinic takes all responsibilities for finding a surrogate and supplying her with all necessary things during her pregnancy. They will supply a surrogate with a certain amount of money during her pregnancy. In addition, they will provide her with all necessary medications and medical services during her pregnancy. A surro mum will get a medical insurance too.
     

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