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Surrogacy Problem

Discussion in 'Wanting to conceive' started by Princess, Nov 8, 2016.

  1. Princess

    Princess Active Member

    A friend of mine underwent surrogacy. Her cousin carried their child for them because her uterine lining is not fit and healthy to carry a baby safely.

    The problem was that when her cousin gave birth 3 weeks ago, her cousin didn't want to give them the baby. I wonder what the legal implications are during times like that.
  2. Honeylette

    Honeylette Active Member

    Usually when couples apply for surrogacy, it is the duty of the clinic to have them sign documents together with the surrogate mother. This is to be used for legal purposes and for the medical file of the couple and the child. I'm not sure though if the surrogate mother has custody rights over the child...
  3. HappyMum

    HappyMum Active Member

    Best to consult the clinic and the doctor who facilitated the surrogacy, because part of their responsibilities is to make sure that they protect the parents in case situations like these happen.
    If there is no protection offered for the couple, which is very unlikely, then they should seek professional and legl help for the case.
  4. That is some major problem. I believe the urge to have a baby is great, and if their cousin agreed on being surrogate there should have been some sort of agreement before it happened. I would be devastated if I waited for the baby, only to find out that it will no longer be mine. This begs the question of who does the baby really belong to? Surrogacy is a tough ordeal, I would still prefer legal adoption any day at the least you know you are not the biological parent, but in this case, it's very difficult.
  5. Solange Diaz

    Solange Diaz Active Member

    Weren't they covered by an agreement? It would've been something signed before the surrogacy happened. It would be very strange if they proceeded without one.

    Maybe the clinic should help since they facilitated the surrogacy.
  6. Dilly's Mom

    Dilly's Mom Active Member

    There are loads of legal implications there and they are on the winning side. They should consult a lawyer asap.
  7. There must have been some considerations made because they are practically family. It is difficult to be on anybody's side on that subject, at one point it is the couple's DNA but the other person carried it for 9 months and gave birth to the baby. Really tough ordeal, can't help but think about it.
  8. MommyofTwo

    MommyofTwo Active Member

    Oh no! That is why these agreements and set up are really conplicated, especially when you know the surrogate mom. For me personally, I can't blame the surrogate mom because the moment you see the baby you carried for nine months. That is why when a woman enters this setup, they are really decided.
  9. iamevallain

    iamevallain Member

    You have to admit that it's difficult to just let go of someone especially if it came from you. I am not comfortable in this type of setup and I don't know if I would be able to detach easily given the scenario.
  10. Christie

    Christie Active Member

    I agree, it's not easy at all to carry a baby inside you for nine whole months. I can imagine it would be painful for any surrogate mom to part with the baby.
  11. iamevallain

    iamevallain Member

    Is there a psychological exam for surrogates? I think that should be considered so there's a little more protection for the couple who would entrust their life to them.
  12. I am not sure if there is, but that's a good point. Being a surrogate is very difficult, there's that attachment to another being to consider.
  13. MommyofTwo

    MommyofTwo Active Member

    What I can see here is it is hard because they know the surrogate mom and it's in fact a relative. Conflicts will arise with this type of set up, even if you don't know the mom actually but it gets more complicated because they know her personally. Was there a written contract? I asked this because since they are relative, maybe, just maybe it was just a verbal agreement. It will be a lot difficult for the couple to file complaint, if they will complain and sue the surrogate mom.
  14. Leiah

    Leiah Active Member

    I guess I can understand both sides. The parents wished for this so badly and that's why they both entered this agreement with a surrogate. The surrogate mom, on the other hand, bore the child for nine months, feeding her, undergoing the physical and emotional changes, knowing each day that the child will be taken away from her anyway. It must be hard. i wish this could be settled in a good way.
  15. This is for sure will be a major depression on the "mother" side, I say this because she waited for nine months for the child to be born ad to be able to take her home after the surrogate mom delivers the baby, but the surrogate mom did the unexpected thing, she doesn't want to give the baby to the "mother". This is sad, if this happened to me I'll be depreseed beyond words. :(
  16. Christie

    Christie Active Member

    I think this is a great idea. It wouldn't be good for women to be surrogates if they are not mentally prepared to be separated with the baby.
  17. Honeylette

    Honeylette Active Member

    @iamevallain Yeah, I think so. But it's not really recognized well so the government or the health department have to do something about it if it's not anyone's fault.
  18. iamevallain

    iamevallain Member

    This is a very sensitive topic and if the government do not recognize the value of psychological tests then that's dangerous. It's important to the well being of the child.
  19. Alex Santiago

    Alex Santiago Member

    It's hard for the surrogate mom I can only imagine. Nurturing a baby for 9 whole months of course you would get attached. Not sure about this set-up, but isn't there some legalities involved like contracts signed before the actual surrogacy? Or screening periods and psychological tests? If there are, and that is what is happening, the surrogate mother could be sued.
  20. What about breastfeeding? After delivery you just take the kid away just like that and you don't give them the chance for that bonding because it's going to be more difficult to separate them after? I wonder how that goes.

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