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Would you tell the truth?

Discussion in 'General Adoption Chat' started by MrHandy, Jan 12, 2017.

  1. MrHandy

    MrHandy Member

    If you adopted your child when he or she is a baby, will you tell the truth that he or she is adopted once the child grows older, or would you keep it a secret?

    I find that this often creates a lot of stress and drama for many adopted families when the child gets a negative reaction once finding out..
  2. Princess

    Princess Active Member

    I think it's a good idea to tell them. If you raised them right and with love, and tell them why they were given for adoption, they will understand.
  3. Solange Diaz

    Solange Diaz Active Member

    I would prefer to tell the child outright. I have a cousin who was adopted and he didn't know until he found out from another cousin (who was drunk at that time), and it drove him off the tracks for a while. So much drama could have been avoided if the parents decided another tact. The problem is, back then, they think it's something embarrassing to be adopted. Nowadays, i am glad people are starting to look at it as you were chosen to be taken cared of and loved by a family, although not your own.
  4. tell them when they're older. unless he/she already has a grasp over the thought that he/she is an orphan, I think it would be best to tell them at an age where they can comprehend things better.
  5. Rrrobert

    Rrrobert Member

    probably not? I'd rather give him/her a blissful lie than a painful truth...
  6. Summer

    Summer Member

    I would tell them at the right age, maybe around 7 or 8. This age can already comprehend and understand the situation because they will listen to you. Though there might be some questions in mind, a lot of crying, it is still okay because they were ready to know the truth. Telling them at a later age, say 17 or 18 will be more complicated.
  7. Amber Lee

    Amber Lee Member

    This is a heartbreaking revelation :( I don't know what to say and the right words to say if I am in this situation. I am thinking maybe they can know the truth when they are around 15 so that they can already comprehend the situation.
  8. I would withhold the truth... the fact that I adopted would mean that I've accepted that he/she's my own flesh and blood. :(
  9. iamevallain

    iamevallain Member

    kids cant understand the situation that well. unless they're old enough as an orphan. but in any other case, I wouldn't tell.
  10. Amber Lee

    Amber Lee Member

    I agree with you. You accepted the baby and you gave them your name, you love them like you're own and the least you want to happen is to hurt them. It is hard but you have to let them know and you will feel it when it's right.
  11. Honeylette

    Honeylette Active Member

    I have mixed feelings about this. I mean, if I were adopted, I would want to know why I didn't have my real parents with me in the first place. I would want to know for sure, but a lot of kids and people don't have a strong personality to handle this.
  12. Christie

    Christie Active Member

    There is a proper and right time to tell the child if he or she is adopted. And a proper way too. Sometimes, it is in the way we raised our adopted children that affects how he or she will react to the news.
  13. HappyMum

    HappyMum Active Member

    It depends. If your baby was adopted when he or she was still an infant or too young to remember, I would not bother. But if you feel that the parents would somehow get in touch, better to hear it from your first.

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